Mother's Day took on a new meaning for me this year...one that will remain with me forever!!
My sweet hubby and I had decided two years ago that it was time to start a family. We had both longed to be parents for some time and after being married for two years, we felt the time was perfect! What we quickly realized was that becoming parents would take more than just love...it would take patience, faith and trusting in our Lord.
After one month of trying, we were blessed to find out that we were pregnant. Our dreams came to a halt a short two weeks later when our sweet baby left us to rest in the arms of our Savior. For those who have experienced the heartache of losing a child, you know that no matter how much time you spent with your child--whether it be weeks or years--the pain is real. We were at a lose. Why? Why had we lost our sweet baby after only a few short weeks? We prayed faithfully for God to restore our faith and trust in him.
6 months and many doctors appointments later (including a bazillion negative pregnancy tests), we were told that I was suffering from Endometriosis. Our doctor felt that having surgery would greatly increase our chances of having a healthy baby. Without question, I had the minor procedure performed with hopes that we would soon be granted a second chance.
4 months later, we were given just that...a second chance. We were overjoyed and beyond excited but we were also apprehensive and nervous that this pregnancy would end as our first one did. Unfortunately, by week 8, we lost our second child. Devastation does not begin to explain the feeling that consumed us. We had hit rock bottom. The emptiness that took over our lives was more than we could handle and turning to God we asked the only thing that we knew to ask...Why us? To this day, we still don't know the answer to that question but we do know that there in deed was a reason.
I was instructed to once again have surgery due to the uncertainty of the type of pregnancy loss that we were dealing with. Due to certain conditions, my doctor was worried that I may have had an Ectopic pregnancy. During the surgery he found that it was not and he was able to clear up more of my Endometriosis as well as perform a HSG test. The surgery went great but we were still no closer to finding out the reason behind our fertility issues.
My husband and I felt that it was now time to take the next step and visit a fertility specialist. We met with the man that we now credit in part for our beautiful miracle...Dr. Thomas. If you live in the Northern Ky/Cincinnati area and are dealing with infertility, I highly recommend this doctor. He is warm, caring and aggressive!! Within our first appointment, he discovered my issue. A simple blood test revealed that I was suffering from a Protein C deficiency...an issue in which my blood clots more than it should. Each time that I became pregnant, my blood would clot and the supply to the baby was cut off.
We immediately began several different options that Dr. Thomas thought would assist us in getting pregnant including taking a low dose of aspirin everyday and IUI treatments. After several months, we still were not pregnant and my trust in the Lord was becoming thin. In December of 2012, Dr. Thomas suggested we take a month off from treatments. He advised us to take a breath and try to reduce our stress for this situation. I continued taking baby aspirin (just in case) and whole heartedly believed that this month (like many others) would not be our month to get pregnant. In my mind, there was no way. We had tried for a year and a half without medication...with no success. We had tried for 4 months with medication and treatments...with no success. What would make this month different?
We quickly found that what made this month different was our faith and trust in God. Against what we believed or thought, December was our miracle month. We were given yet another chance to become parents! With the help of a blood thinning medication taken daily, I am now 22 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby girl! Dr. Thomas helped us through the form of a shot given daily in my belly but God helps us daily by living in and through us!!
As I sat in church this morning, on Mother's day, I realized that this day meant more to me today than it ever did. I could feel the gentle kicks and movement of my sweet baby girl inside of me reminding me of God's grace and glory. I realized that God had not forgotten us. He knew the desires of our hearts long before we did and he had a plan for us. Why didn't he sustain life in me before when I so desired it? I will never know but I do know that he had a reason and a plan. As I sat there holding my sweet baby safe inside of me, I realized that he was holding my two sweet angels safe in his arms.
I was told early on that there was a chance I would never have my dream come true of becoming a mother. These words can not be spoken by any human. Only He knows the plan he has for us and we must trust that He is in control and always will be. He was the one who had placed his hand on my womb and breathed life into it at a time that I never felt was possible. The song we sang this morning sums it up perfectly..."His love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me!"
To all my friends out there who are experiencing this same heartache, promise me that you will never give up because I promise you that His love will never give up on you!! He has a plan for you and He will fulfill the desires of your heart...just trust in Him!!
Happy Mother's Day sweet friends!!
...I have it all planned out--plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.